{Brad’s Corner} March 2004

Brad’s Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It’s supposed to be funny, interesting and thought-provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the March 2004 edition of Brad’s Corner and see what’s on his mind.

The Chorus:
These are exciting times around here. I feel like we’ve been upgraded from a Motel 6 to a 5 star Hotel. Many thanks to Hog, Tank and Doc for their hard work getting this new site up and going. People are still griping about Janet Jackson’s boob. I don’t understand the big outcry, and I didn’t think we’d still be feeling the shockwaves from Boobgate a month after it happened. While I did not think it was appropriate for prime time Super Bowl television, there are worse things that can be seen or heard. I’m pretty sure the farting Budweiser horse had a bigger effect on the nation’s children. I mean as a young kid I found farts funnier and more interesting than just about anything. It wasn’t until the teen years that I realized boobs were cool too. Now all this controversey has spread to radio where the FCC is cracking down on shock jocks like Howard Stern harder than Toby Keith’s music sucks. Stern was fined and taken off the air on 6 Clear Channel stations for something a caller said. This is the same Clear Channel that has it’s country radio stations play the hell out of the aforementioned sucky Toby Keith music. At this rate, Galleywinter’s very own Slappyville will be next on the FCC’s firing line. And Lord knows I’m not paying for Slappy or Scooby’s bail. Next thing you know, we as free Americans won’t be able to rent dwarfs for midget tossing at bachelor parties. What is this county coming to?

Minor chords:
We here at Galleywinter are now co-sponsors of Texas Music Tuesdays at the Coppertank in Austin. It’s free beer and free admittance if you mention that you’re with Galleywinter. One thing that many people don’t know is that you also get free Ramen noodles and Chef Boyardee. It should be a big hit with the college crowd. Especially after they’re done hitting something else!

A lot of people have been heading out to see Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ movie, as evidenced by it’s record breaking opening week. An old man I know told me that he wasn’t going to see the movie because he had already read the book. And we all know how bad Hollywood can mess up good books. Just ask the guy who wrote that great novel Gigli.

American Idol’s loser contestant William Hung has become somewhat of a phenomenon with his rendition of Ricky Martin’s God-awful “She Bangs” tune. The engineering student, or whatever he is, is now being flooded with tons of offers from record and movie companies, and HOT women. My best friend can’t sing for shit but is a lot more handsome than the homely Hung. So I’m gonna sign my buddy to a management contract, quit my job and hit up Hollywood. I figure I’m sitting on a gold mine worth more than a get out of jail free card from a Neverland Monopoly game.

The Cash estate has denied the makers of a hemorrhoid relief product access to Johnny Cash’s classic “Ring of Fire” for use in an advertising campaign. I’d like to help the advertisers out and suggest some alternative songs for them:
Bloodhound Gangs -“Firewater Burn”
Talking Heads-“Burning Down the House”
Dennis Leary-“I’m an Asshole”
Garth Brooks-“Friends in Low Places”–the title alone fits nicely
Or they could just go the other way and use Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby”

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”–Mark Twain

Brad Beheler

Raised in Waco, refined in the Hill Country, escaped from DFW. I've worked in just about every facet of the music business for 20 years. I like to write about it all. e-mail Brad Editor-in-Chief

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