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{Off The Cuff} Purposeful Beach Rendezvous


The late summer sun is setting on the southeast Texas peninsula beach getaway known as Crystal Beach.  Famously detailed in Hayes Carll’s early work and vividly in Guy Clark’s “South Coast of Texas”, it is a rough patch of land with a rough patch of characters attempting to alter its image.  Post-last hurricane, it is cleaning things up and attempting to go (somewhat) upscale.  It hasn’t lost all of its white trash charm yet though.  For example, one observation I noted while spending time on the public beaches where they allow parking and cruising right on the water, was that seemingly every confederate flag that had been removed in South Carolina had relocated to the surprisingly clean sand of Crystal Beach.  In the shadows of multi-million dollar and $500,000 beach condos it was an odd, continual sight.  Not saying it’s right or wrong…just odd.

Upon arrival at our weekend lodging, I found it flooded it out due to a cleaning mishap and the harried, white haired owner covered in soaked clothes scrambling to clean it up.  As I parked and exited my car, he hollered at me, “You the one ‘sposed to stay here?”  After an uneasy affirmative reply, he shouted over the sound of shopvacs and chaos that it was going to be unusable and that I should immediately head to the property management office to see if they could help me out.  I rambled up to the office, down the road in the nicest strip mall on … Keep Reading

{Off The Cuff} The Real Girls in the Songs and With the Songs

As the father of a young daughter, husband to a strong wife, brother of an awesome sister and son of a loving mother I’ve been taking in all this “Girl in a Country Song” vs Bro-Country brouhaha with a keen interest from afar.  The Bro-Country phenomenon is a fad.  A passing fancy no different than the Urban Cowboy, Countrypolitan, Neo-traditionalist, or Hat Act eras. It’s interminable in the moment, but will be gone relatively soon.

The difference in those previous fads and the current Bro-Country one is that those paid deference to women (for the most part–there were sexist elements that were a product of their time).  They respected them.  They weren’t just booty shorts on a tailgate. They weren’t just compared to a melody or relegated to disrespectful arm candy via the most baseless, brain-dead lyrics imaginable. I can’t fathom Conway Twitty, Charlie Rich, Randy Travis, George Strait, Keith Whitley et al singing about throwing beer cans at a girl’s window, skinny dipping in a river, or stripteasing in the bed of a pickup. Would they possibly allude to those things?  Sometimes.  But, they’d do it in a very clever manner.

The degradation of women is nothing new in the hip-hop world.  The late 90’s/early 00’s was fraught with the same types of disrespect women are currently being shown in country music.   Rap music, at large, moved beyond those elements years ago.  Nashville is still embracing them (just as they rip off the most corny elements of that terrific, … Keep Reading

{Off The Cuff} “Hi, I’m George Strait”

By: Clayton Corn

“Hi, I’m George Strait.”

“No s**t…” is what I almost said back as I shook the hand of a very tan man in the middle of the number 9 fairway at the Dominion Golf Club in San Antonio.

See, I’m kind of the Forest Gump of golf. It really is absurd the things I’ve gotten to do, the people I’ve met and the places I’ve been with a golf club in my hand. It is the great river that runs through my life. I’m not very good at it but the best friendships I have with the exception of one or two of my closest buddies were forged with stories exchanged over three-foot putts. And almost all these stories include Pat Green, as does this one.

I was once a member at Onion Creek Country Club here in Austin and with that came reciprocal privileges at their sister courses, one of which is Dominion. It was rare that I ever got to treat Pat to a round but this time it was on me and I was proud to host.

When we got to the first tee the starter recognized my guest and told us the group in front of us, a twosome already walking off the green, was none other than King George and his compadre. His house at the time was on a big ridge overlooking the course and this was where he spent most of his time when he wasn’t touring or otherwise traveling … Keep Reading

{Off The Cuff} Are You Really Listening?

I love music as much as anyone.

I’ll fight you over it if you want some. You probably don’t if I’m guessing. I have references.

Hell, I have a reasonable amount rhythm and sound killer singing in the shower. That being said, I have no business making a record. Maybe just maybe, you have no business too. Just because your mom and girlfriend/wife think you are great doesn’t necessarily make it so. You should probably keep asking around, seek a few real opinions. Please don’t send me records saying you sound like Uncle Lucius. I already know you are full of shit before I open the envelope. I haven’t heard anyone sound like Kevin Galloway, but Kevin Galloway.

Besides all that… try sounding like you first. Influence is great, but we don’t need another Randy Rogers Band. They already handled that just fine and continue to do so. We don’t need another Pat Green. The one we have is pretty salty already.

Quit saturating the market with your shitty band and tunes. Let the cream be the cream. A lot of Texas Music fans despise Nashville Country. I am a fellow despiser. (If that’s not a word I just made it one.) The truth is the shittiest “Texas Country Music” is shittier than a lot of that “Nashville Pop Music” we despise.

How can you scream for change if you’re part of the problem? I’m disappointed at fans for settling. Your settling for shitty tunes is keeping the real artists … Keep Reading

{Off The Cuff} Clint Eastwood and The Weirdest Night Of My Life

Ed. note–Yesterday, we came across this Hunter S. Thompson-esque take on a Celebrity Pro AM golf tournament from the Facebook feed of Clayton Corn and asked if we could re-publish it here.  He was kind enough to oblige.  This is one of the greatest stories we’ve read in quite some time.  Enjoy!


By: Clayton Corn

This is a true story.

Dateline: February 4, 2009, Pebble Beach, California.

I am a golfer, not a very good golfer, but a golfer none the less. I’ve gotten to do some amazing things because of it. I haven’t played much lately, but I can honestly say that most of the good things that have happened to me over the years started on a golf course and because of one man, Pat Green, I got to spend a LOT of time there. I have a tour bus load of stories to tell about Pat and golf but we’re going to start at numero uno. This little gem cannot be topped and it’s taken me five years to put it to paper (err word processor, err whatever…).

Pat asked me to be his caddie when he was invited to play in the 2009 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro Am. We haggled a while about how much it was going to cost him to hire me, whether I’d be flying business or first class and what five-star resort I deemed acceptable if I was going to schlep around his clubs and watch him peel it into the … Keep Reading

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