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{Brad's Corner} October 2006

{Brad�s Corner}

Brad’s Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It’s supposed to be funny, interesting and thought provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the October 2006 edition of Brad’s Corner and see what’s on his mind.
What a busy year? After having the wedding season to end all wedding season’s this summer, we’ve entered into real estate season in my household. With the wife becoming a certified realtor and us looking for a new place all crashing down around me recently. We took the plunge and have bought a house, I’m inching closer and closer to age 30 and responsibility and stuff. It’s not as fun as it seems. Reminds me of a line I bit from Robert Earl Keen in a song of mine one time:

We were young and we were wild
We were laughin’ and smilin’
…had no worries
Didn’t know that it would pass
Didn’t know that it wouldn’t last
…or why we were in such a hurry
To grow up and grow old
Livin’ fast…dyin’ slow

Creeping in on mortgages and marriages is the reflective time when you realize your youth as you knew it, is gone. When Pat Green hit this period, ignorant calls of sell-out were cried far and wide by longtime fans. I don’t blame the guy for not wanting to write a song about hunting birds while drinking Lone Star and floating the Guadalupe with Cory Morrow anymore. If he did, he’d be the most irresponsible parent at the PTA meeting or as he said, he’d “have a 12-step program in his future.” Not one of those that lasts just three days and washes the road out of your soul. Pat also recently moved from Austin to DFW to gain greater access to DFW airport. With the move, he too had to buy a new home. Buying a house is daunting and intimidating for those of us still in our mid 20’s paying off student loans and grasping tightly to our decent yet iffy credit scores. It has been somewhat of a relief to hear news of the real estate bubble bursting a tad over the last few days. I wouldn’t have said that two months ago, but after being on the prowl for a new home over that time, I’ve come to some realizations. For one thing, you’d be surprised that so little goes for so much. I’ve had tours and showings of “homes” (and I use the term lightly) that resembled hunting shacks from the 1950’s. Or at least that’s how they were decorated. Shag carpet, holes in the walls, foundation troubles, avacado green appliances, counter-tops and rotary phones. You too can have all this for only $199,999. Another thing I’ve noticed is that whomever the realtors are using to take pictures of these properties needs to move to Hollywood. They can make the biggest turds of houses look like Jed Clampett’s mansion. If they can turn a shack into a palace with their Todd Purifoy touch, imagine what they could do for Courtney Love, Nicole Richie, Kate Bosworth and the Hoff. Thirdly, the realtors who write the descriptions of these “homes” should supplant King and Clancy as the greatest fiction authors of our time. They brandish ambiguous adjectives such as “charming”, “lovely” and “unique” as they assault your brain’s b.s. sensors. Your brain see’s those kinds of words combined with the great pictures and thinks, “Hey, this one doesn’t look half-bad.” But, you’d be fully mistaken to believe that. This is when you schedule a visit to the house your interested in and suddenly realize instead of “charming”, “lovely” and “unique”; it is in fact “rude”, “ugly” and “uniquely horrid”.

Of course, I’m exaggerating and we did end up finding a beautiful home that was perfect for us. Notice, I didn’t say “home”. But, beware potential buyers…there are a number of “homes” out there and you’ll spend a great deal of time looking before you find the one. Strange how most things in life are that way. Love, employment, and your favorite music. Think of all the crappy music you endured before you found and embraced the Texas/Red Dirt scene. Now I just need to make like Mr. Frizzell and find a whino to decorate my home…uh oh, here comes the wife…whino to decorate my small portion of the garage. Isn’t it also strange how it doesn’t take a husband long to figure out who wears the pants!

Minor Chords:

-My good friend Mr. Randy Rogers has finally succumbed to cupid and has joined the ranks of us engaged/married folks. We’re all hitting that age, I guess. Fans shouldn’t worry, he’s not going to start covering R.E.M.’s “Shiny Happy People” all of a sudden.

-Got to take in my first Longhorns game of the season down in Austin recently. We’re still making great strides in the tailgating game. We’re not quite up to snuff with the SEC teams, but we’re getting there. We’re at a big scenic disadvantage. Whereas, most of the SEC schools have green trees and lush gardens to inhabit their tailgating with…we’re stuck with jampacked parking garages which we make the best of.

-Can we just play football now-a-days? My goodness. No longer do we have games where we just tee it up and go to town. The TV networks hype and overproduce match ups against 0-4 teams. They place too many graphics on the screen and everything is an advertisement now, including the first down line. I think it is part of the reason I enjoy going to high school games so much. It’s no nonsense except for the excruciatingly long thirty-minute halftime. You know, the part where the bands play the same songs and the drill teams do the same routines their school has been producing since 1981. You get to hear all the same classics…”Smoke On the Water”; “Danger Zone”; and “Hawaii 5-0”.

-The governor’s race is heating up. Texas politics is like the Paris Hilton of politics. In the end it makes a few entertaining moments but you’re left wondering where the substance is. Next thing you know, someone named Kinky is running for office and a sex-tape leaks out. Additionally, there’s money missing off the dresser and your daughter’s knocked up, I’ve seen it a hundred times.

-Is there anything more annoying and irritating than paper jams in the copier? Well, Yankees fans come close.

-This month’s recommended movie is: Idiocracy. It is Mike Judge’s first movie since Office Space and stars Luke Wilson. The studio buried it and is hoping for a big pickup when it’s released on dvd. Catch it when you can.

-This month’s recommended album is: The Captain and the Kid by Elton John. It is a true return to his 70’s sound after flashes of it’s brilliance coming back and the turn to 80’s schmaltz. It’s a great collection of songs…and if you dig Ryan Adams and/or stuff like EJ’s classic tunes such as “Tiny Dancer” and “Levon” you’ll enjoy this set.

-“Of all things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” –Mark Twain

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