Brad’s Corner is a monthly commentary written by Brad about whatever he feels like. It’s supposed to be funny, interesting and thought-provoking, but most geniuses are misunderstood. Check out the April 2004 edition of Brad’s Corner and see what’s on his mind.
Howdy, howdy everyone. Time yet again for a journey to Brad’s Corner. It’s not quite Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood, but I do what I can. April is one of my favorite months, right up there with July. Why April you ask? Well, the Texas weather is not yet scorching, but is quite radiant and pleasant. The hill country is as gorgeous as it will be all year as it’s scattered with blue bonnets and wild flowers. I’ve still yet to meet a chick that was dandelion beautiful, I’ll have to get down to Kerrville and see if they have some of those there. April also means NASCAR in Texas, the Masters at Augusta, and because of Easter Vanilla Ice can finally find work again, dressing up as the Easter Bunny. However, what makes April so special to me is Larry Joe Taylor’s Texas Music Festival.
For the uninitiated it’s a lot like being an Aggie and trying to explain the allure of College Station. You can’t really explain why you must go to this place, you just know its right. Except at LJT’s fest it only takes one of us to screw in a light bulb. Coined “Redneck Woodstock” by Roger Creager onstage at the 2000 festival, LJT’s Texas Music Festival is the ultimate festival for Texas and Red Dirt musicians. I probably attend close to 100 concerts each year and none come close to the feel or vibe of LJT’s. Depending on how long you choose to stay, it’s 3-4 days of music, mullets, BBQ, chili, tents, flags, music, doctors, lawyers, college kids, high school kids, music, hippies, rednecks, old friends, new friends, “Goodnight Moon’s”, “Tequila Sunrise’s”, campfires, tents, boats, RV’s, campers, music, newcomers, legends, cowboys, fun, music and much, much more. As Roger also said last year, “Hell they should pay us to come play this thing, it’s the best gig we do all year.”
You’re as likely to hear the best song you’ve ever heard from the guy camping next to you as you are to hear Reckless Kelly perform onstage. And it just might turn out the guy camping next to you and bumming beers is some guy named Boland. He might be pretty good one day. It’s the one festival where the artists truly hang out in the crowd the whole time. It’s Texas Music nirvana, the event of the year. Four days of no worries except making sure you get to the stage with enough beer to make it through the show. It’s a sea of thousands of like-minded music fans from all over the country. It’s packed with people who know that Stoney LaRue has better pipes than anyone in Nashville. Some guy named Cody Canada has been performing at LJT’s since he was a teenager. He should get a band together, I hear he’s really good. Alas, there are no beer drinking horses or sexy looking tractors. Just good music, good friends and good times. Pulling in your first day there is like being a kid on Christmas morning; leaving is like a trip to the dentist. Me and my best friends go every year and I plan to be one of the old hippies still attending 30 years from now when that Pat Green fella is playing Saturday afternoon, several hours before some new hotshot headlines that night. Words cannot express how special the Larry Joe Taylor festival is or how important it has been in exposing new talent and developing this scene. Check it out if you can!
My friends and I were comparing ourselves to The Rat Pack and started picking out which one’s we were. Well Frank, Dean and Sammy got snatched up pretty quick. I’m Dean by the way, as if you couldn’t tell by my suave alcohol sipping coolness. One of my friends, of course, became the “other guy”. You don’t wanna be the other guy in the Rat Pack. Having to shine Sammy’s shoes, get Dean a refill of gin, or whack someone for Frank. The “other guy” by the way was Peter Lawford.
Whatever happened to Ross’s monkey and his son on Friends? I wonder if they’ll make an appearance in the final episodes. I wonder if Chandler will actually get promoted to V.P. of Transpondering. I’m thinking the Joey spin-off won’t be very good, but I could be wrong. Anyone that has seen the movie Ed knows why I think it’ll tank. What’s up with these guys and monkeys?
I hate to bring up Howard Stern again, but I’d be remiss not to mention this. On the heels of all his FCC troubles his fans have been helping him wage retaliation, albeit a small one. Well, one of his listeners happened to notice that on the same day Stern got fined for “objectionable language/content”, Oprah had discussed one of the topics that he was fined for. It involved having your salad thrown in the air. Just knowing that Oprah has knowledge of this act disgusts me. To paraphrase Chris Rock, if I had a choice between the electric chair or hearing Oprah discuss a spin cycle salad, I’d be like where do you plug it in?
If you haven’t checked out Adam Hood, Zach Whitney, Ashlee Rose, or Pauline Reese, do so.
Wouldn’t it be cool if politicians had to battle rap each other like the guys in 8 Mile. That way they could say what they really wanted and wouldn’t be so p.c. Yet, when it was over they could shake/hug and be cool with one another. They could have “beef” with one another and make up rhymes like:
John Kerry’s foreign policy is whack like his rhymes
My tax cuts save millions while his drop dimes
-or, since we’re equal opportunists here-
G Dub spends less time in DC than at his western White House
While he’s clearing brush in Crawford, Baghdad’s lights are still out
Related to that last blurb, if I was to be a white rapper, my handle would be Ice Fishin’.
The Dave Chappelle show is the funniest thing to hit TV since South Park. Watch it. Live it. I’m Rick James, biiitch.
“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”… Mark Twain